Understanding Family Violence - an interview with Dr. Leslie Tutty

Dr. Leslie Tutty at Understanding Family Violence Conference
T. Lucas photos

Toni Lucas, Pincher Creek Voice

"I'm really impressed that this many people came out; I think it is optimistic.  It's a real privilege for me to be asked to come and speak here," said Dr. Leslie Tutty, who was speaking at the Understanding Family Violence conference held Thursday, November 14 in Pincher Creek's Ranchland Mall.  Close to 100 people attended the lecture, including a wide range of professionals and other interested individuals.

Dr. Tutty presented a two hour lecture called 'What is Family Violence, and What Can We Do About It?' at the conference.  Many at the conference deal with identified cases of abuse as part of their day to day work, such as the Domestic Violence Action Team (DVAT).  Others may deal with abuse occasionally as part of their jobs, such as law enforcement officers or health care workers.  Others may deal with people that are affected by abuse but are not directly abused themselves, or suspect that abuse is in a household that they do not visit, but deal with family members outside of the home. Examples of professions in those situations would be teachers or childcare workers.

"Dr. Leslie Tutty is a professor emeritus with the Faculty of Social Work at the University of Calgary where she taught courses in both clinical social work methods and research. Over the past twenty-five years, her research has focused on services for domestic violence including a number of evaluations of shelter and post-shelter programs for abused women, support groups for abused women, treatment for adult and child victims of sexual abuse and groups for men who abuse their partners. A new interest is homelessness, particularly how it affects women abused by intimate partners and their children. From 1999 to 2011, Leslie served as the Academic Research Co-ordinator of RESOLVE Alberta, a tri-provincial research institute on family violence." ~ University of Calgary website.

During the lecture Dr. Tutty touched on different types of abuse  including physical, psychological, emotional, financial, spiritual abuse, and coercive control.  Coercive control is defined as an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

"It's used to control.  It's intentional, and it's targeted to where the person is most vulnerable. It's all about power and control," Dr. Tutty said about any of the forms of abuse.  Alcohol and substance use can exacerbate the situation.  So can changes in the self worth of the person doing the abusing or the person being abused, one example being a job loss or a job promotion.  Changes in routine can escalate problems, such as holidays or vacations, or visits within the home, or a pregnancy.

Tutty recognizes that just because you are considered an expert in your field, you may have little understanding about domestic violence whether the training you have taken is in children services, health care, or law enforcement. Giving one example she said that "A lot of times nurses and doctors aren't trained to see the connections with health."

Dr. Tutty talked about working with women that are or have been in abusive relationships. "I find that whenever you are talking to these women, and hearing about their experiences, it's very powerful.  A lot of women say it's the denigration, the emotional abuse, the put downs, and the coercive control. It's like they don't even have their own life anymore.  When you are in a relationship like that, you stop being yourself.  Everything about you is to please that other person."

Modern technology like the cell phones and social media now play a part in the ability of a controlling partner being able to track the whereabouts or the thoughts and ideas of the person they are targeting.  It also can be used in identifying where their targets are getting support. "There are more opportunities.  In some ways, the internet has given more reasons to justify jealousy.  It's expanded the ways you can keep tabs on someone.  We put more into our technology, and it's available if someone wants to use it for control purposes."  The effects of abusing someone in social media can have devastating effects on the person who is being denigrated.  "Think of the public openness of it," said Tutty.

"It's very different for every relationship.  Some are abusive from square one, some it took a long time, even years before abuse started," she explained, giving the example of a couple that had been in a long term non-abusive relationship getting married.  At that point a person who has abusive tendencies can have an attitudinal shift to 'I can do what I want with you now'.   Some cases such as that example will have trigger points.  "I have concerns because we have tended to talk about it (abuse) escalating, but it doesn't work that way for all relationships.  Then you can negate the fact that your partner is abusing you, just because it isn't escalating."

Rather that giving advice without knowing the whole situation Tutty suggests it is better to focus on 'How is it you are living right now?' and 'Is this what you want for you and your kids?'  Even labeling those that are in an abusive relationship as 'victims' can have a detrimental effect both on the caregiver and the person that is in an abusive relationship.

"Some of them are very strong women,"  One study that Tutty refers to has well educated professional women that were in abusive relationships.  Some of the women in that study were engineers, and health care professionals.  Tutty points out that many have not experienced abuse in their early years, and don't recognize it for what it is if it starts subtly.  She suggested that movies that show the extreme end of the spectrum give people who are in an abusive relationship a way of down-playing the situation that they are in by telling themselves, 'It won't get that bad.'

"We know due to research studies that mental health diagnoses may be 17 - 20% of all abusive men.  A very small proportion.  Of that proportion that were diagnosable, some of them are personality disorders like anti-social personality disorder."  When asked how someone becomes abusive or why someone will tolerate abusive behavior, Dr. Tutty answered,  "There is no one answer.  It's really about societal attitudes.  What's okay to do, what you see is acceptable as a kid.  All of those influences, and what society says."

Even once someone recognizes that they are in an abusive relationship they may not be ready to leave it.  "It's so difficult to make that decision to leave, especially if it's intermittent (abuse).  Society pressure to stay in a marriage is still strong. You have to let them make their own choices, and be as supportive as you can.  Be a listening ear."  There are pressures to stay, or to go back from society, friends, family, children, and personal values.  "The financial pressures of being a single mom can be devastating," said Dr. Tutty.

"You cannot just provide assistance to the women and children you have to provide assistance to the entire family," she said based on her years of work and research.  Although Tutty offered many different ideas toward how to deal with abuse she did not favor any single approach over another.  "I don't want to impose, because it really has to come from the community."

Part of the purpose of this conference was to help Pincher Creek and surrounding areas refine the action plans for what to do regarding a domestic violence situation and identify resources and network strategies.

Resources:

If you are in immediate danger call 911

Alberta Council of Women's Shelters
Pincher Creek Women's Emergency Shelter 403-627-2114 Toll Free Number:  1-888-354-4868
Kainai Women's Wellness Lodge Crisis phone: 403-653-3946