Planned non-parenthood: University of Lethbridge researcher explores why women choose not to have children

• National Non-Parent's Day, August 1
• Survey subjects not selfish, not ‘waiting for Mr (or Ms) right,’ not child haters – and very serious about their choice
• Nationally, nearly 250,000 women identify as childless by choice
• In Alberta, numbers translate to about 9,500 women in Calgary, 7,100 women in Edmonton, and nearly 900 women in Lethbridge

A University of Lethbridge Sociology researcher has looked into the notion of planned non-parenthood, and found some startling insights into why people choose not to have children.


As National Non-Parent’s Day approaches on Thursday, August 1, Gillian Ayers’s research project brings into focus some of the key decisions women make in choosing to be childless.

As part of her U of L master’s thesis in Sociology, Ayers interviewed women in southern Alberta who self-identified as being childless by choice.

She was interested in their motivation for choosing to be childless, and also wanted to learn more about the stigma and social pressures that were imposed on childless people from friends, family members, peers and colleagues.

Among other results, what she found was that the women she spoke with were not selfish, not ‘waiting for Mr (or Ms) right,’ not child haters – and very serious about their choice.

She found that childless women took the time to truly consider what it means to bring another person into the world and, from their perspective remaining childless is often the most selfless option.

In Canada, Ayers says previous research estimates there are nearly 250,000 women who identify as childless by choice – approximately seven per cent of the female population 20-34 years of age.

In Alberta, those numbers translate to about 9,500 women in Calgary, 7,100 women in Edmonton, and nearly 900 women in Lethbridge.

“The decision to remain childless is a serious one, and is often explored in relation to what it means to be a mother and a woman in our society, in addition to other factors,” Ayers says.

Ayers says the concept of intensive motherhood, defined by University of Southern California sociology researcher Sharon Hays in 1996 as being ‘…child-centered, expert-guided, emotionally absorbing, labor-intensive, and financially expensive’ was a significant driver for her research.

“Many women I spoke to recognized the impossibility of being the perfect mother. In essence, and for these individuals, motherhood is perceived as this horribly expensive, time-consuming, never-ending task. The bar is set incredibly high, with room to fail, but never room to succeed. Many women I spoke to see these expectations as unattainable or simply ridiculous, and factored these social expectations into their decision-making.”

Ayers adds that she found, overall, that women face so much criticism and stigma that they have either internalized or learned to explain their decision in a way that relates to the cultural expectations of intensive motherhood, and reinforces the idea that ‘…if you can’t do it right, it’s best to not do it at all.’

Ayers gathered information from 21 women, aged 21 – 59 who are residents of Lethbridge and southern Alberta and, through interviews which lasted up to two hours, gained a number of insights into their decision to be childless:

- 20 out of 21 women mentioned financial reasons for choosing childlessness

- 17 out of 21 women cited the physical aspects of childbearing and childrearing including pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding, as factors in their childbearing decision-making

- 15 women explained that experiences babysitting and tending to nieces and nephews ultimately shaped their childbearing decision-making

- 15 women would not list their childlessness when describing themselves, and instead would list their other interests, hobbies, qualities, and career attributes, showing that they reject the typical descriptions of childless women. Additionally, six women had their childbearing status revealed without their consent – and many of the women self-monitored their speech both in public and private settings to avoid unwanted stigmatisation

- 11 women explained their childlessness by using the idea of biological drives or instincts (i.e. “I don’t have the maternal instinct”) possibly to help reduce stigma towards themselves and paint their decision in a positive moral light

- 11 women cited health and disability issues in their decision-making processes, citing their own health and disability issues as well as the potential for a disability for the child

- 11 women explained that their voluntary childlessness impacts their friendships – there is a ‘drifting apart’ among friends that the women spoke about. As well, voluntarily-childless women seek out social support with other voluntarily childless individuals, though none of the women surveyed currently belong to a formal group for childless individuals but 16 of the survey respondents would consider joining one.

- 10 out of 21 women spoke about career and educational goals that took precedence over childrearing and that, for some survey participants, it was an ‘either/or’ decision: either have children or have money/career/education/good relationship/travel/etc….

- Children are seen as a threat to physical and mental health in some cases: The notion of the “alien” inside the pregnant body was cited by five women, while four women feared gaining weight during pregnancy.

Many of the single women explained that they would choose a partner based in part at least on their childbearing decisions, diminishing the argument that single women will want children when they meet “Mr. Right.”

As well, eight women explained that the decision had been made before they got together with their partner, six women explained that their partner was equally, if not more, firm in the decision to remain childless and five women solidified their decision with a partner.

“Overall, the decision to remain childless is often complex, and women must navigate competing discourses. This decision is not taken lightly, and it is often revisited time and time again throughout life, which illustrates the difficulty of trying to be the ‘perfect woman’ in modern western society,” Ayers says.

“Furthermore, the decision is often made with a partner, although women most often are the ones who face blame and stigma regarding the decision.”

Ayers, age 26 and a life-long Lethbridge resident, says she became interested in the topic because she found there to be a very pro-child focus among families in the Lethbridge area, and while she identifies herself as childless by choice, a number of her friends of a similar age each have several children.

She wants to further expand her research to include men and also to a larger group of women, including immigrants and members of the Aboriginal community.



A complete copy of her research is available at this website: https://www.uleth.ca/dspace/bitstream/handle/10133/3226/ayers,%20gillian.pdf?sequence=1

Ayers is presently working as a research associate for Dr. Claudia Malacrida, a U of L researcher who is working on a SSHRC-funded research project entitled “Eugenics to Newgenics in Alberta: Historical Continuities and Differences."



This project is exploring archival records relating to eugenics and legal statutes relating to current sterilization and birth control for people with disabilities.

Ayers and others are also collecting the life stories of Alberta Eugenic Act survivors, and women with disabilities who have a story to tell about relationships, sex, intimacy, wanting to have children, and being a parent.

The interviews with these women will focus on how women with intellectual, physical or sensory disabilities have been regarded and treated in terms of their sexuality, reproductive capacity and perceived appropriateness to mothering.