"Billionaire Socialist hordes threaten Nation!"

Billionare columnist Phil Burpee

Phil Burpee, Columnist, Pincher Creek Voice

Yes, you read it first here in the Voice. Apparently the very fabric of our nation is under dire threat from the roiling armies of foreign agitators, fifth columnists, comsymp bleeding-heart tree-huggers, and various other ne'er-do-well luddites and heretic schemers. It would seem that food is about to be snatched from the mouths of our babes by conniving 'radicals and environmentalists' who toil in distant proletarian mansions with the avowed purpose of visiting upon our fair land the vile and toxic witch's brew of 'sober reflection', 'scientific discourse' and, that most pernicious of them all, 'long-term socio-economic cost-benefit analysis'.


I am referring, of course, to the clarion call from Federal Natural Resources Minister Joe Oliver, who has raised the red flag and pronounced a 'DefCom Level 4 Lethal Threat State of Emergency and Imminent Peril' over possible impingement upon the rights of various trans-global Oil Corporations to access their duly-apportioned Big Fat Slice of the Pie in the form of the Northern Gateway Pipeline. The situation is dire, the Minister informs us, and every red-blooded Canadian must be prepared to ward off the godless swarms of Billionaire Socialists who would deny us our destiny of becoming the single most slovenly, reviled, contemptuous and hypocritical member of the club of rich nations. To the barricades, my lads!

Mr. Oliver is upset that some 4300 participants have registered to contribute to the environmental assessment for this pipeline, an assessment which has been undertaken by the federal government through a Joint Review Panel (JRP) established by the Canadian Environmental Assessment Agency (CEAA) and the National Energy Board (NEB), as part of its own regulatory approval process - this in addition to some 100 First Nations organizations who continue to express deep concerns about both the advisability of the project itself, as well as the affront of the 'foregone conclusion' attitude of the governments of Alberta, Canada, and China, who are all vigorously congratulating themselves and one another on the brilliance of the plan. To refresh memories, the Northern Gateway proposes to deliver approximately 525 thousand barrels per day of crude oil (Ft. McMurray bitumen/heavy crude) from Bruderheim, Alberta, just outside Edmonton, to Kitimat on the B.C. central coast, crossing some 1,000 streams and rivers along the way, many of them salmon-bearing, through a 36" diameter pipeline, from whence it will be loaded onto supertankers bound direct for China through the ship's graveyard that is the the B.C. archipelago. There will also be a twin returning 20" diameter pipeline carrying 193,000 barrels per day to deliver natural gas condensate, used as a diluent to ease transport of the crude, back to source at Bruderheim. Indeed Enbridge Corp., the proposed builder of the pipeline, has already confidently entered into contractual arrangements with PetroChina, the Chinese state oil company, in anticipation of a successful outcome. The following Wikipedia site covers the general details.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enbridge_Northern_Gateway_Pipelines

Now, it should be pointed out that the Government of Canada is in no way bound by whatever determinations may be made by the JRP, and the adoption of any or all of its recommendations is entirely discretionary. So, the towering indignation and mock concern expressed by Minister Oliver is really nothing more than grandstanding, and a crude way by which to prepare the ground for the anticipated ignoring of the JRP's findings, which are anyway expected to approve the project with a variety of reservations, tweaks and provisos.

However, the chief concern in all this showboating is the use of Orwellian Newspeak by Prime Minister Stephen Harper's government. Because branding such sober and conscientious organizations as the Sierra Club (currently in its 120th year of operation), the Suzuki Foundation and the Pembina Institute, not to mention a huge swath of Aboriginal communities with their ancient and visceral regard for the wellbeing of their lands, as 'radicals and environmentalists', (and here employing the term 'environmentalist' as a pejorative), is the height of dunder-headed, self-serving arrogance. It is a reiteration of the infamous pronouncement of President George W. Bush, on the eve of delivering the world into a disastrous cycle of belligerence and mayhem, that you are either 'with us or against us'. It is nothing more than the prior and anticipatory vilification of anyone who would oppose your plans, however ill-conceived they might in fact be. What dreadful piffle.

To compound the shallow idiocy of such statements, Mr. Oliver chooses to single out George Soros, whose Soros Foundation is accused of meddling in the national affairs of this country, as a particular villain. Let's be clear who George Soros is then. He is indeed a billionaire, a self-made one, a London School of Economics-trained venture capitalist and money trader, a Hungarian who has known the bleak rigours of life under both Nazi and Soviet rule in his homeland - certainly no bleeding-heart, anti-development hippie. As he moved from success to success, he set up his Foundation, typically in the form of national charters. Between 1979 and 2011, Soros Foundations gave away over $8 billion to human rights, public health, and education causes, disbursing funds to various peoples and organizations who were deemed to be dedicated to advancing the wellbeing of humanity. Specifically, it was the establishing of the Open Society Institute (OSI) that most ably articulated his passions and concerns. This was mostly dedicated to breaking down the rigid structures of State-controlled information which so afflicted eastern Europe after the collapse of the Soviet Union and its sphere of influence. Exactly what the work of the OSI is aimed towards is the sort of mealy-mouthed gibberish now spouting from the flapping lips of Messrs Oliver and Harper.

And indeed, such is the righteous fury of the Canadian government that Mr. Harper has now threatened to review the whole regulatory apparatus surrounding charitable status for non-profit organizations. This is an appalling smokescreen. Anyone who understands life in the non-profit sector knows very well the constraints already placed upon direct political advocacy emanating from their activities. Under provincial Societies Acts and the Canada Revenue Agency (the Taxman), very strict regulations govern the extent to which any non-profit organization can be seen to be manifesting political advocacy in its operations. There are, in fact, governmental committees dedicated to making just such determinations based on a percentage-based interpretation, which can sometimes be as low as 4% of operating activity. Exceed this and you risk loss of charitable status, and with it the ability to issue tax-deductible  receipts to donors. But the reality is that almost all non-profit organizations have as their mandate the provision of direct services and/or information which serve to fulfill their respective missions and mandates. And funding bodies such as the Soros Foundation or the Law Society or the Carnegie Endowment do not directly target specific governmental policies, but rather make funds available on a case by case basis to a variety of applicants, based upon their applicability to the vision of the foundation itself. In the case of the JRP, most petitioners have, at most, between 5% and 10% of their operating funds deriving from sources outside Canada - if any at all. It goes without saying, of course, that trans-global oil corporations have no such constraints as to how they might spend their lobbying and investment dollars, currently in excess of $100 billion in this country. This is all  a crude charade. Industry and the government of Canada have made their pitch - "We are right. This project is good. Anybody who says different can expect to be litigated or legislated into irrelevance. Ipso fatso."

Recently, we have seen the rather dragged-out looking Peter Kent, former newsman and current Federal Minister of the Environment, grimly absolving our country of any further responsibility for, or allegiance to, the much-maligned Kyoto Protocol. We never did make the slightest effort to fulfill our mandate within it, and now we bail to avoid the $14 billion penalty that would accrue were we to remain a signatory. This is about as comely a spectacle as watching a naughty child running away to avoid having to get his poopy diapers changed. Smooth move Mr. Minister. (Remind me not to buy a used car off this guy). Alberta and Canada are now so invested in the effort to get as much of the Alberta Oilsands to market as quickly and as efficaciously as possible, that any pretence as to global responsibility is summarily tossed out the window into the rushing airs of history. How sad. How has our fine country fallen. Our prosperity is increasingly based upon perfunctory governance, environmental degradation, vilification of thoughtful opposition, self-serving myopia, a general predisposition towards self-delusion, and a certain growing predilection for flipping the bird to our fellows.

If the billionaire socialist hordes should happen to come by our place on their way to battle in the corporate bastions up and beyond, I for one will call in my dog, and let them pass unimpeded.



Phil Burpee
January 14, 2012