Happy Thanksgiving weekend

Toni Lucas, Comment, Pincher Creek Voice

Toni Lucas

This is not going to be about Thanksgiving, exactly.  I have so much to be thankful for, including friends, family, employment, a roof and health.  Much of it is too personal to matter to anyone but me, and those close to me.

This week, I was talking with a lady who I will call "Judy" who had gone to her uncles funeral.  We were talking about it afterward, and she told me that the gentleman who had died suffered his entire life from a degenerative, painful affliction.

While talking about it, she said that one of the mourners, who had worked with him for 23 years had said, "Not once in those twenty three years, did I ever hear him complain."  We talked about the strength  it would take to get past the pain and not burden others with the problem this man faced every single day.  Then I stopped, curious, and on the edge of something bigger, more meaningful to me.



"Judy, do you think that your uncle didn't complain about his pain at work, or that he didn't complain at all?"  I asked, looking for the answer to a bigger question.

She took a few moments to ponder what I had asked.  "I think that that he (the co-worker) meant ever.  He (Judy's Uncle) didn't complain much that I remember."  I was in awe.  I tried to think of a day when I had not heard a complaint.  I get them on the telephone, in my inbox, on facebook.  I hear admonishments coming at me from the television.  Some I am expected to fix.  Some are not directed at me, or anyone, really.  Who can fix the weather?  Have you heard someone complain about it?

I can't even say that I have spent a day complaint-free when I have spent it on my own.  I am a nag, and I nag myself to do the dishes, get the weeding done, feed the animals, catch up on THE LIST.  I know I am not the only one with a daunting list.  In fact, that is yet another complaint that I am both vocal about for myself, and I hear about from others.

I pondered about the fortitude that this gentleman had.  Pain within his body, pain within his life, external pain.  These are things all experience at one point or another.  Disappointments, and critiques are a part of our daily lives too.  Yet he shouldered it all cheerfully, and did not allow it to affect some of those that shared his life in a negative way.

 I have complained to a waitress that what she brought was not what was ordered, or that the coffee wasn't hot.  Many times, complaints are meant to bring about a change.  These however, can be stated as an observation, instead of a complaint.  Sometimes, a complaint is a plea for help, either in the physical sense, or a friendly ear to listen while a situation is talked through, and worked out.  Then there is a new category in my mind.  The ones that have no solution, no change can be achieved, no help can be given or received.  I am guilty of that kind of complaint, too.  I will now call those the "weather complaints".

This gentleman has given me a gift in his passing.  He reminded me that a complaint has weight.  The many that we encounter throughout our day, add to the weight of the day.  I am going to endeavour to  phrase my complaints as observations and requests, without guilt, obligation, or blame.  Also, to complain less about "the weather".

To Judy's uncle, who I have never met, and will never read these words:   You have made a difference in your co-workers life, enough of one that that he made note of it, and chose to share it.  Through that example, you have touched my life, and my outlook.  Thank you.

Thank you to those who took a few moments from your busy lives to read this.  Happy Thanksgiving weekend.